“Let’s understand difficult people”
We have all come across difficult people; they can be Co-worker, employees, or difficult bosses. We must remember that the better we can deal with a difficult situation and difficult people the more success we can have in life.
As we have all experienced, difficult people can sometimes get in the way of our success. Dealing with them in an appropriate way will help in coping with the situation and lead to greater success in relationships and more productivity in work settings.
Dealing well with people is going to have more influence on your success and happiness in your life than any other factor. You have to deal with difficult people who have problems, people who are angry, people that are frustrated, people who attack you, and sometimes people who do not mean you any good.
Lack of teamwork and non-cooperative attitude is common in this type of person. This individual can be your boss or your co-worker.
While working on a demanding project, difficult people can be hard to cope with, to say the least. People by nature are different, respond differently to situations of similar nature.
Bad situations
I want you to recall a memory of when you had to deal with a difficult person. What did you experience? What were your feelings? Sweating of the hands or pounding heart rate. What made it so difficult? Can you type in to chat about your feelings at that time? Sure it was a difficult and emotional situation, one you would not like to be in. What happens in such situations? The individual reacts by displaying a fight or flight mechanism.
In such a situation no rational response is likely.
Behavioral intelligence can be divided into four parts:
- to be able to explain existing behaviors
- Predict future behaviors
- Influence other people behaviors
- Control our own behaviors.
Ways to deal with difficult people
However, by using certain strategies the situation can be made much better. By using the colored brain proven system, we can help you navigate successfully in dealing with difficult people.
The key is understanding yourself. You can do this by using the Colored brain. The Colored brain tells you how the brain gets clarity or ambiguity relief. Now, this is valuable once you use redirecting questions then you can follow up appropriately, by understanding how you are behaving and how the person is reacting according to their colored brain.
Be calm, be patient, in control and ask questions and that would make you the master of the situation. Now there is a need to relax and take things slowly. Ask questions to redirect the behavior away from the negative aspects. Disengagement is necessary as in conflicts nobody can win.
Did you know that the brain processes information for different people in a different way and research has divided them into four types? The colored brain divides individuals into four groups i.e. Red, Green, blue and Purple:
- Green Brain (Chaotic processing)
- Nothing is connected
- Achieves clarity through action
- Needs feedback
- Sees big fuzzy picture
- Needs to see or experience progress
- Gets over things quickly
- Makes more mistakes than other colors
- Recovers faster from mistakes than other colors
- Red Brain – (Linear Processing)
- Needs Clarity
- Structured
- Objective
- Gets clarity through analysis
- Long term perspective
- May appear insensitive
- Makes fewer mistakes than other colors
- Takes longer to recover from mistakes than other colors
- Purple Brain – (Relational processing)
- Everything is connected through data
- Needs lots of information to get clarity
- Detailed
- Must know options
- Difficult to delegate
- Orderly nature
- Misunderstood as insensitive
- Usually take long to make decisions
- Blue Brain – (Intuitive processing)
- Everything is connected through sensitivity
- Sensitive to surrounding and Environment
- Insightful and intuitive
- Multi-tasking
- Natural ability to organize
- May take on others problems
- Make decisions based on intuition
- Intuitive with people and groups
SCENARIO:
Boss: Green Brain (Chaotic processing)
Secretary: Purple Brain (Relational processing)
In this scenario, a green-brain boss gives an assignment to a purple-brained secretary. The green-brained boss is very chaotic in nature and likes to push things. He is trying a few things together. On the other hand, the purple-brained secretary works in a relational fashion and needs positive feedback. The boss told the secretary to prepare a report covering briefly the details about the company. The boss expected a report of about 20 pages covering only important aspects. However, the secretary submitted a report of 100 pages covering all the details.
The green-brained boss was not happy with the result and started to blame the secretary for not giving him the facts. This upset the secretary, who made the best effort but since she was purple brained she included many more details.
In this scenario, this conflict could have been easily avoided if the two individuals were aware of each other’s colored brains. The boss would not have judged the secretary based on his colored brain.
A few of the tips which are helpful during trying times are as under:
- Understand yourself first
Knowing yourself is the key to success. Being aware of your strengths and weakness will put you in a better position to deal with others. Not knowing yourself will lead to confusion and wastage of time. Your behaviors, actions affect the people around you. By being aware of this, the aim should be to create a conducive atmosphere.
- Define your goals clearly
Identify your goals. Put your goals in writing. Choose goals that are meaningful, measurable and those that you can impact. Identify specific achievements or steps and obstacles for each goal. Make the goal measurable. Identify the key performance indicators you will use to track the progress of your goal. Assign responsibility for each goal.
- How to deal with an explosive situation
When you work with the same people day in and day out, chances are you’ll eventually encounter a situation that can be deemed “explosive Invite a neutral third party to mediate. There’s a reason most legal contracts include some form of mediation – it works. Involving an objective, respected third party can help both sides feel that they are being heard. Shift perspective when you find yourself teetering on the edge because of a disagreement with someone else, stop for a moment and consider their point-of-view. Compromise and simply have to understand that there are different points of view in the world.
Understanding what the boss wants
Develop a Positive Relationship. Understand the boss’s goals. All employees should know their direct manager’s goals, objectives, and desired outcomes. Anticipate boss Needs once you understand your boss’ goals, you’ll be better equipped to anticipate his or her needs. Do Your Job Well
Solutions
Things to remember in dealing with difficult people:
- Do not react, consider remaining silent.
- Separate the behavior from the individual
- Do not fuel the behavior
- Ask questions to redirect focus
- Knowing when to be assertive
- The art of listening
- What behaviors will lead you to success
